At least once in our lives, we have encountered narcissistic or manipulative people. They could be friends, romantic partners, colleagues and family members. Some relationships you can sever but some could be beyond your control. Case in example, your family. You have very little control when it comes to the family you grow up in so what ever emotional abuse you are exposed to, you tend to come up with a defense mechanism or suffer through silence. Being at the mercy of a narcissistic or manipulative person can be detrimental to your emotional well being. The reality is that most abusive people thrive on emotion and drama so each and every time you interact with them, their goal is to trigger and toy with your emotions. The more you react to their manipulation, the more you fuel their desire to get explosive reactions out of you but brace yourself because there’s a way to protect yourself and it starts with these series of questions. What happens when you don’t flinch? What happens when you refuse to play the game? What happens when you break free from their toxic cycle?
The Grey Rock method is a strategy of protecting yourself from abusive or toxic friends, partners, co-workers and family members. It entails becoming unresponsive to abusive or manipulative behavior so that the perpetrator loses interest. Abusive people thrive on attention and validation. That is why they are persistent so they can feed off of your reaction. The goal is to flip the script and let them wallow in unsatisfaction because you didn’t give them the control and power over you they intended to have. Grey rocking can be presented as avoiding eye contact in conversations, giving short answers, showing no emotional vulnerability, minimizing conversations, avoid arguments at all cost, or depicting undivided attention while having a conversation with a toxic person. Withholding your reactions might potentially stop this behavior or reduce the frequency of the behavior. Choosing to withdraw from this game will help you detach from the abusive offender and might give fewer opportunities for abusers to exploit others.
The grey rocking theory is rooted in behavioral psychology theory which emphasizes that behaviors are acquired, strengthened, weakened or shaped by context. Grey rocking can help you against emotional or psychological abuse tactics, narcissistic games and toxic behaviors. There is a catch though, the concept of grey rocking will entail you hiding your emotions which can get overwhelming. You will feel each and every emotion but you will not give the perpetrator the satisfaction of watching you crumble. It might get lonely and exhausting but the aim is to find a healthy space to express your emotions without them being weaponized. As effective as this method may be, it’s not a long-term solution to addressing toxic and abusive relationships. Grey rocking might not be safe for everyone. In some extreme cases, if your partner is abusive not indulging in the scuffle might trigger them to get physical so that they can assert their dominance and power over you. In such instances, it’s advisable for you seek help from a professional like a therapist and if you are in a position to, exit from that toxic relationship.
Ps. Just Saying.
JUST SAYING 